Pause to watch and wonder – communication through play

Connecting with your child through play builds the foundation for communication. You can build on this by doing 3 things as you play: pausing, watching and wondering. This means:

• Pausing during the game you are playing
• Waiting and watching your child’s reaction to the pause in play
• Wondering what your child’s reaction means

Why is pausing to watch and wonder important?

How does it help communication development?

For you, pausing the game can:

• Help you tune into your child
• Reveal how your child communicates, for example they may look at you or the toy, make a sound, move their arms or legs, be still, reach towards something
• Help you notice subtle ways your child communicates
• Show you the reasons why your child communicates
• Help you have a back-and-forth interaction with your child

For your child pausing the game can:

• Give your child time to process information
• Create opportunities and time for them to respond and communicate something to you
• Be a signal or cue that it’s their turn to do something
• Help your child learn the back-and-forth pattern of conversations
• Help your child know that their communicative attempts. Whether this is through making noises, movements or being still, are important and that you are listening, watching and waiting for them

How do I get started?

Pause – Play a game with your child but this time pause part way through. For example, blow bubbles then pause before blowing more. Tickle your child then pause before tickling again. Start singing a favourite nursery rhyme but pause part way through

Watch – Keep making eye contact with your child

Watch – Be expectant and watch your child closely and quietly for up to 10 seconds. See how your child responds to the pause in the game. Do they make a sound? Do they move, look at you, reach for the toy, become still, or keep exploring?

Wonder – What might your child’s response mean? Do they want the activity to continue? Are they upset the activity stopped?

Wonder – How do you know what your child wants or feels about the game being paused? In other words, what are they doing to communicate these things to you?

Keep going

Pause, watch and wonder regularly as you play with your child. Play the same games in the same way each time, including when you pause. This will help your child to:

• Recognise the game and what to do
• Recognise the cue that it is time for them to do something
• Develop consistent responses

You may find the following table helpful to plan and or record what you did. You might like to chat about it with your speech and language therapist: