Doing the detective work with gestalt language processors

Some children use phrases that seem out of context, but they might be using it to show a link between something. If we can do ‘the detective work’, and find out where a phrase has come from, it can help us understand what a child means.

Gestalt are connected to emotion or an experience

This experience might be positive (happy, exciting) or negative (sad, scary). The emotion of the experience is often what makes language ‘stick’, or what makes it memorable. Here are some examples:

• When a child falls down and hurts themselves, an adult might say ‘oh dear, are you ok?’. Because the child is upset, this language might ‘stick’. Next time they fall down, they might repeat what they heard last time ‘oh dear, are you ok?’

• A child watches a cartoon clip and the character exclaims in frustration, ‘are you kidding me?’. The child might say this next time something goes wrong for them. So when the battery runs out on their tablet, they might say ‘Are you kidding me?’

• On their birthday, a child hears everyone singing ‘happy birthday’ whilst they are having lots of fun. Because they are happy, this song might ‘stick’. So next time they feel happy, they begin to sing ‘happy birthday’ because they remember being happy on their birthday.

Sometimes phrases do not always mean what the words say

Remember that these phrases are not always literal. The child is not using them to mean exactly what the words say. They might be using them because:

• they remember the same feeling they had when they learnt the phrase
• it connects to something that happened when they heard those words

When the child sings ‘happy birthday’, it might not be their birthday, or because they have seen a birthday cake. It may be because they are feeling the same way as they did on their birthday, which was happy.

You might hear people saying that a child uses language ‘out of context’ or ‘without meaning’.  Actually, it might well have meaning for the child, but we do not always know what the meaning is. It is our job as adults to do ‘the detective work’ and find out what your child means.

How do we do the detective work?

Here are some top tips for doing the detective work, and finding out what the child means by a certain phrase:

• Think about when your child uses the phrase. Is it when they are hungry, or tired, or excited? Do they always say it at a particular time, such as when grandparents are coming to visit, or when they are out in the car?

• Ask other people who know the child well. They might know where the child has learnt the phrase from or have heard them say it. Do they recognise the phrase or do they know who else says it?

• Think about your child’s favourite TV programmes, songs, books, films or adverts that they like. Does the phrase sound familiar? Does a particular character use the phrase? Think about what your child might have been doing or feeling when they heard it.

• Do an internet search for the phrase. If you are using a search engine, it helps to put the phrase in quotation marks, “To infinity and beyond”. There are some good websites that will help you find a phrase and show you the clip that it appears in.  We like Get Yarn. Try putting in a phrase that your child uses and see if it finds where it comes from!

What do we do when we work out what the child means?

• The best thing to do is to respond to what you think your child means! This will help your child learn that people think what they say is important and that we are listening to them.

• You can also model a phrase that will make it easier for other people to understand what they mean. Do not correct your child, or make them say it differently. Instead, model another way to say it.

• Let other important people in your child’s life know what the phrase means.

For example, a child might have watched this episode of ‘Hey Duggee’ on BBC iPlayer. They might pick up the phrase “Well done squirrels, you’ve earnt your taste badge”.  The child might use this phrase again when they want a smoothie, because the animals make smoothies in the episode.

So when the child says “well done squirrels, you’ve earnt your taste badge”, you can take your child to the fridge and say, “Yeah! Let’s have a smoothie!”, and get them out a smoothie drink.

What if I cannot work out what my child means?

Sometimes we might not be able to work out where a phrase has come from, or be sure what it means. We can still respond in a way that shows your child that we are listening to them. We can repeat what they have said, or say something like “yeah…” “that’s right”, or “I know”.

This is a way to affirm what your child has said. It lets them know that what they said was still important. This video clip explains how an adult affirmed something the child said. She did this even though she did not understand what the child meant.