Parent and infant relationship service (PAIRS)

Early relationships matter

Early relationships influence the way that a baby’s brain develops. When parents and carers are able to tune-in and respond to their babies’ needs sensitively, it lays the foundations for lifelong mental and physical health and helps them to:

• Grow up feeling safe, secure and ready to play, explore and learn
• Have skills to understand and manage their emotions and behaviour
• Feel confident in themselves and develop trusting relationships with others

However, not all parents and carers find this easy. Lots of things can affect how you feel about your baby and yourself as a parent, and this can get in the way of developing a positive parent-infant relationship.

Although having a baby can be a special and joyous time, it can also be challenging. Sometimes it can feel hard to cope with your baby’s feeding, sleeping or crying, or you might have worries about how they are developing.

Parents or caregivers who did not receive sensitive care when they were young may find it harder to tune-in to their baby’s needs. Other things can affect how you feel about your baby, such as a traumatic pregnancy or birth, mental health problems (such as depression or anxiety), loss or bereavement, or events from the past or present.

Who are we? 

We are a team of psychologists, psychotherapists, specialist health visitors and infant mental health practitioners. We specialise in supporting parents and caregivers to build sensitive and nurturing relationships with their babies, as we know this is essential for healthy development.

Who do we work with?

These problems can affect anyone. The PAIRS team are here to provide support so that you can build a strong and nurturing relationship with your baby or young child. We work with any parent or significant caregiver and their babies from conception to age 3.

How we can help

Once we receive a referral, one of our practitioners will get in touch with you to arrange an initial meeting, either in your home, at a nearby Family Hub site, or at our base.

At this initial meeting, we can think together about the relationship you have with your baby and discuss any worries or difficulties you may be having. After this, we will think about your goals and how we will work towards them. We will review our work together regularly and, with your consent, we will provide update letters to you and other key people involved (For example your GP or health visitor).

There are different ways that we can help you and your baby to strengthen your relationship and help you make sense of your baby’s emotional responses and communications:

• We may encourage you to play with and talk to your baby.
• Sometimes it’s helpful to try to think about how your baby is feeling and what your baby might be trying to tell you through his or her sounds and body movements.
• Filming the positive parts of these sessions for you to watch later is also an option and can be helpful.
• We can also help you with any difficult feelings arising from becoming a parent or carer.

Alternatively, if we think another service will be better able to support you, we will help you access this.

Support for professionals

Alongside our therapeutic work with families, we also offer teaching and consultation to professionals working with parents and carers who are pregnant or have a child under the age of 3.

We are keen to share our specialist infant mental health expertise through consultation, reflective case discussions or joint work with a family.

If you are a professional working with families that are struggling with their parent-infant relationships, please get in touch via telephone or email to discuss the support we can provide.