Managing meltdowns top tips

A meltdown is best understood as a panic attack, where the child is completely overwhelmed, rather than wilfully naughty or defiant. Traditional discipline is largely ineffective for meltdowns, as the child is not in a state to learn anything.

During a meltdown

• Try to keep calm and be aware that your own feelings can have an impact.
• This is not a battle to be lost or won, but more a ‘crisis’ to manage.
• Prioritise keeping your child and others safe.
• Keep language short and simple and talk calmly to your child. Try using visuals.
• Do not use any demands.
• Give your child some space and time to calm down. This might mean:
  • guide them towards a safe space such as bedroom, garden, out of classroom, tent
  • stay with or near your child
  • cuddle and stroke them if they find this comforting
  • follow at a safe distance if they run off
• Avoid threatening consequences, punishments or rewards. It is likely that your child is beyond being able to reason and unable to respond appropriately. This may further fuel the meltdown.
• When they are beginning to calm, it may be helpful to offer verbal reassurances or physical affection. Such as “would you like a hug until you feel better?”

After a meltdown

• Meltdowns are exhausting. Give your child chance to rest in a safe place and offer them a drink and a snack.
• Reassure the child that it is all over. Tell them that you still love them and you understand that was really difficult for them.
• Some children may feel guilty or be angry with themselves. Avoid trying to discuss the meltdown straight after or continuing to refer to it if your child has moved on.
• Some children can find it helpful to talk about the incident. However, this kind of debriefing can be too stressful for many and may cause another meltdown.