After a traumatic event

This information aims to help parents, carers and significant others to feel more prepared when supporting their child after a traumatic incident. It helps to explain some of the reactions that might happen, gives some practical advice on how to cope with the effects of trauma and how to get more support.

What is a trauma? 

Trauma is what can happen to someone because of a sudden, unexpected event where the person experiences extreme stress. This may include the person fearing for their life, suffering an injury or risk of physical harm or they may have seen a stressful event. Hospitalisation, especially for extended periods, can also be a traumatic experience for children and young people. Other examples include: 

• Sudden or life-threatening illness or injury 
• Medical procedures 
• Invasive or frightening treatment experiences 
• Being in the hospital or emergency department 
• Domestic violence and assaults 

Medical trauma

Children’s experiences of hospital and treatment vary. Some children are in hospital for a short period of time, whereas others may receive treatment throughout their childhood or even their lifetime.

As inpatients, children are separated from everything that is familiar to them, including their homes, family and friends, school, and their routines. Prolonged or repeated periods of hospitalisation and treatment that children may experience as frightening, painful or anxiety-inducing can increase the risk of medical trauma.

Immediately after a traumatic event, most children will feel upset, worried, and confused. This is normal and most children do not continue to have trauma symptoms. It is important to validate how they may be feeling.

How can I help my child after a traumatic event?

Reassure

Remind your child that whatever happened is over, that they are now safe. This will help the child to re-orientate and slowly feel safe again. You might have to repeat this a number of times, especially when the child experiences flashbacks or nightmares. 

Give space to process

Allow your child to talk about the illness, injury or hospital experience if they want to but don’t pressure them. It might help them feel less anxious and distressed and they can start to make sense of what has happened.

Remember everybody will be different in how they deal with trauma.

Parents and carers can feel they need to protect their child from what happened by not talking about the event. If your child wants to talk about what happened, express their feelings, or asks you questions, try to answer them as best as you can. You can help your child to give a name to their feelings in order to communicate to them that all thoughts and feelings are OK.

Return to familiar routines

Try to go back to your daily routines as much as you can to give your child the feeling that things are going back to normal, and they are safe. This might be difficult if you or your child is in a hospital setting, but telling the child when you are around and what is happening might help with that.

However, if your child is particularly frightened of any hospital procedures, in this case, it may be helpful not to let your child know too long in advance about procedures. 

When you and your child are back home after a traumatic event, help your child to get enough sleep, eat regularly, go back to school and see friends as much as is possible. Understandably in the first few days, you may wish to keep your child off school if they are still very distressed, but it is good for them to go back to their usual routines as soon as is possible. 

Be together more

Spending more time together as a family may help after a traumatic event. It will help you to connect you as a family and reduce any feelings of vulnerability and loneliness.

Include everyone 

Do not forget that if siblings or other family members are around, they might be equally as affected by what has happened and will also need support. 

Self care 

Take time for yourself. Looking after yourself is important, you need strength to be able to support your child through this difficult time.

Things you can do for yourself 

Do not feel you have to be superhuman. Just do what is necessary and pass on as many things as you can to other people. 

Relaxation

Find some space (physically and mentally) where you can let go of everything, even for just 5 minutes. Sit or lie down and focus on your breathing. Quiet and soothing music can help with that.

Sleep

Sleep might be very disrupted for you and your child. Try and get regular sleep if you can. Perhaps a family member or friend could come over to help with practical things so you can rest. Or, if your child is on the hospital ward, go home for the night or ask about booking a room in Treetops. 

Support each other 

Try and share day-to-day tasks with someone such as your partner, friend, or other family members. Give each other space to deal with any stress in their own way as each person is different. Some people want to talk, whereas others want to be left alone. 

Talk and listen

It is important that if you or someone else who has been affected by the trauma wants to talk about it not to stop them. However, maybe it is easier to do so with someone who is not connected with you such as a health professional. 

Support networks

Receiving support in times of distress is very important. That can be practical support like helping out with childcare and food shopping or through more emotional support in the form of listening. Support might come from family, friends, neighbours, school, or hospital staff. Please ask for help. Most people are more than happy to help in times of great distress. 

If you continue to feel worried about your child, or if any of their symptoms continue, you should visit your GP, who can refer you or your child to an appropriate service. 

When should we get more support?

Whilst many of the symptoms below may be considered typical (and understandable) responses to a traumatic event, for some children these symptoms can be longer lasting and have a significant impact on their lives. If these symptoms persist for at least one month, then your child might need additional support from a professional, such as your GP. 

Re-experiencing of the traumatic event 

• Thinking a lot (unwanted intrusive thoughts and images) about the illness, injury or procedure 
• Nightmares 
• Reminders will trigger a flashback (you feel as though the medical procedure or event is happening again) 

Increased arousal 

• Difficulty sleeping
• Irritability or outbursts of anger or difficulties at school 
• Difficulties concentrating 
• Extreme alertness
• Being easily startled or jumpy 

Avoidance and emotional numbing

• Keeping busy 
• Avoiding thinking or talking about the illness, injury or hospital experience, or things associated with it that are reminders of the trauma 
• Being unable to recall some aspects of the trauma 
• Feeling detached, cut off and emotionally numb 
• Loss of interest in usual activities 

Other reactions

• New fears related to the medical event 
• New physical symptoms or complaints, such as headaches or tummy ache, that are not explained by the medical condition 
• Feeling in a daze or “spacey” 

Psychology department 

The psychology department provide psychological support to patients at Sheffield Children’s and their families. We can offer you, and your family, a safe space to talk about the reasons you came into the hospital, your experiences here, and how to move forward after discharge. We can also offer support around procedural anxiety and helping young people to adjust to their health condition. 

All young people under the care of a consultant at Sheffield Children’s can be referred for psychological support. If you or your child would like to talk to a member of our team, please speak to one of the members of your Sheffield Children’s team about a referral. We are happy to see families together, or can sometimes meet with young people, parents or carers, siblings and other family members on their own.